


A Painful Loss #SaveCAOS

by Helene K (hekiv)



Series: After the End (POST PART 4) [3]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Armchair Therapy, Child Loss, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Miscarriage, Multi, Other, Pity, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Therapy, There's A Tag For That, Trauma, Witchcraft, Witches, Young Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:27:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28668477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hekiv/pseuds/Helene%20K
Summary: Just as things couldn't get any better, Sabrina gets the best news.However misfortune shows no mercy.Where does Sabrina go when she can no longer stand the pity and the hushed gentle voices.Who can she turn to when life has taken a little too much from her.They say you never forget your first love.But can that love be enough to put her back together?#SaveCAOS #RenewCAOSSabrina got cancelled by Netflix after only 2 whole seasons! The ending of part 4 was filmed months AFTER the show was canceled and was never meant to be the true ending to the show.Please help us to get it back by following the steps below:👇👇👇1. Keep using the hashtags #SaveCAOS #RenewCAOS on Instagram and Twitter2. Keep signing and sharing the petition❗️SIGN THE PETITION TO SAVE CAOS❗️ at http://chng.it/NPvGVsQhSp3. Send an e-mail to @HBOMax (general@hbo.com) and (support@hbomax.com), let them know how much you wished the rumors were true and they‘d save #Sabrina for more seasons!4. Tell your friends to do the same ❤️5. The show deserves a part 5! DM Netflix and HBOMAX on Instagram#SaveCAOS #RenewCAOS
Series: After the End (POST PART 4) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2099613
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	A Painful Loss #SaveCAOS

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is gonna be one angst filled, heartbreaking and possibly dark story. I don't know why I thought of it but I did and I just couldn't sleep until I wrote it.
> 
> If it looks like I'm being disrespectful, please let me know. This isn't a topic I know a lot about, all I know is just from what I've seen and read.
> 
> Ignore any grammar faults. English is not my first language. Thank you.

It was a beautiful morning. Sabrina would have been able to appreciate it more if she wasn't so exhausted and nauseous.

She was not looking forward to what the rest of her pregnancy was going to be like.

She tugged at her white nightgown and wished she could sleep naked, but knew that wasn't an option as long as she lived with her family. There had been too many close calls.  
  


She stopped by the mirror and smoothed down her nightgown, until her hand rested on her baby-bump. It was barely noticeable but it was there. 

She thought how she would never get tired of doing that. She was always at awe at the little life that was growing inside her.

Half of her. And half of Nick.  
  


She looked down and remembered Nick getting down on his knees in front of her, kissing her stomach and nuzzling it. His smile alone had made her want to cry, she was so happy. He had been shocked at first, worried even and then happier than she had ever seen him.

Neither of them could of ever expected this, a future like this, after having been returned to the world of the living by Hecate.  
  


But here they were. She was pregnant. They were about to become parents.  
  


Of course they could of waited. She was still young, only eighteen. Having only recently graduated from high school. She was still a student at the academy. 

Both of her aunties had been surprised and had looked a little disappointed since they had warned her to be careful. After Sabrina had reveled that she and Nick were now having sex pretty frequently, her first time having been before the whole void fiasco, both of them had made it very clear that Sabrina had to start taking care of herself so she wouldn't become a young mother, much to her chagrin and to Ambrose's amusement as he had watched the whole scene while drinking tea in the kitchen.

But everyone was excited for the baby. Her aunt Zelda was already thinking of baby names, names that would pair well with the fearsome "Spellman" name.  
Ambrose had even suggested some names, most after people he had either slept with in his pre-housearrest years or after comic book characters. Sabrina appreciated both of their help.  
Her aunt Hilda was the worst of the bunch. She had gushed over the prospect of having a little Sabrina running around and had already started knitting an entire wardrobe.  
  


While her family had been more than supportive, in their own weird way, her friends had been a little weirded out. They had all been enjoying the summer, some more than others.. And were just generally celebrating that they had all passed the exams and were off to go to college. Theo and Robin were going to a college nearby, to study agriculture before they could take over Theo's family's farm. Roz was about to study law in New York. She wanted to use the power of the law to fight for women and make a difference. Sabrina was more than proud of her for that, and not a bit surprised.  
  
And Harvey..

Well, he had been there when Sabrina had told them all the big news over milkshakes but about a week later, he and Roz had broken up, their relationship having had just run it's course and Harvey had avoided everyone and mostly staying at home, the excuse being that he was working on his portfolio so he could get accepted to an art college.  
  


Sabrina remembered that Theo, Robin and Roz had all been surprised, some of them thinking she had been joking since she was so young.  
But Harvey had been excited right away and had been very supportive. It had made her feel very lucky to still have him in her life. 

At least the others acted as if they were happy for her.

Eventually Theo and Robin must of gotten more used to the idea because they even had gotten her a present for the baby. Little blue unisex toddler shoes with a black S on the buckles. The S being for Spellman. That had made her smile as her heart hurt from how considerate her friends could be. They had been awkward when first giving her the present but had relaxed when she had told them that she loved them.

Roz had bought her a wooden green little wardrobe filled with clothes for the baby. She had made sure all the clothes would be great for either a girl or a boy, and some of the clothes were for when the baby grew up.  
"Kids grow faster than you think," she had said and Sabrina had felt so happy that she had Roz in her life.

Then she had asked Roz to be the baby's godmother. Or rather _godessmother_. They had both laughed at how ridiculous that was but Roz had said that she would love to with tears in her eyes and when they had hugged, they both had cried a little.

Harvey had called, and over the phone he had apologized for not being around. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for her. He was. He let her know that he was sure she would be an amazing mom. But since the breakup he had with Roz, he just couldn't see Roz right now. He needed space.  
  
Sabrina understood, it had been the same way when she and Harvey had broken up.  
Sometimes that felt like a lifetime ago. And in some ways, it was.

Nick had surprised her. She had woke up one day with a dainty golden bracelet around her wrist. She had thought it was just a little gift from him but he had explained that it was a powerful luck charm with more than a few protection spells on it. So that if something were to happen to either her or the baby, he would know.  
She had joked that it matched the necklace he gave her and of course he had been completely serious when he had told her that he never wanted the baby to be left unprotected.  
Sabrina remembers the way he had smiled after she had told him that their baby would be lucky to have him as a father. The tension that he carried almost constantly since the day she told him she was pregnant, had eased if only a little.

She knew he was scared. And in all honestly, so was she. But she felt safer now with the bracelet.

Not that it did any good..

That morning when Sabrina had woken up with the sun shining and already high up in the sky, the Spellman house was empty.

Both of her aunties were at the academy, along with Ambrose who was probably just there to see Prudence.

Roz was even there, studying magic with Agatha.

It was still hard to believe that Roz was a witch. And even harder to believe, that she was a Weird sister. But Roz looked happy to study magic, so Sabrina got used to it. She just wanted her best friend to live her best life. Even if that meant as a witch sister to Prudence and Agatha and as a student at the academy.

Dr.C was probably at Dr. Cerberus, making refreshing milkshakes to teenagers of Greendale who were probably enjoying the summer.

What was even stranger, was the fact that Sabrina saw Dr. Cerberus now almost every morning in the kitchen. She had been a little weirded out by the fact that Hilda and Dr.Cerberus had both moved in when Sabrina had been in the sweet hereafter, and she had thought that as soon as she had been brought back along with Nick, that her aunt Hilda would insist that she and her husband would move out again. But that hadn't happened.  
It had been a little surreal to see Dr.Cerberus every morning. So used to only seeing him when he was making milkshakes behind the counter. But she had gotten used to him, mostly because he was nice and warm just like her aunt Hilda and most importantly, he made her aunt Hilda happy. Which is the reason all the Spellmans made sure to make Dr.Cerberus feel comfortable. Even Zelda was making an effort.

As for the rest of her friends, Sabrina knew that Theo and Robin were at a farmers market in Riverdale, helping Theo's dad. She thought it was funny how Theo was worried that Robin would start to hate farm life, when in fact, Robin actually loved it there. He was comfortable around animals and had a bit of a green thumb.

And Harvey was probably still at home. Drawing. Trying to heal from a broken heart.

So Sabrina was on her own. She was alright with that.

Well, she wasn't entirely alone.

The best thing about being a witch, was that you could make a connection. To those in the afterlife.

Or to the life that you carry.

She felt the little heartbeat thumping away in her as strongly as she felt her own. She had never felt a stronger bond with anyone that she loved. And she did love her baby.

Even though she hadn't seen their face or held them in her arms. She still loved her child.

  
She could spend hours wondering and dreaming of what her baby would grow up to be like.

Stubborn. Maybe because of her. With Nick's love for books and knowledge.

Maybe it would be a girl with her blonde curls but with Nick's beautiful smile. Or it could be a boy that looked exactly like Nick but with her mischievous eyes and rebellious spirit.

Each thought of an imaginary child would make her smile and even sob softly. Unstable hormones be damned.

And to think that she had actually worried about being a mother.  
  


She decided what she needed was a long soak. Off came the bracelet and the necklace, to take their usual spot on the nightstand and as she filled the tub, she wondered where Salem was. Probably somewhere hunting mice. He usually was when she was sleeping. She left the door a little open for him, took off her underwear and was about to take her nightgown off when. It. _Happened._

Pain.

The worst kind that she had ever felt.

The kind that had her wishing for death.

She tried to scream but couldn't even let out a single sound, all she could manage was a soundless scream as she clutched her stomach.

She couldn't breath.

The baby.

_No._

She didn't have time to think.

She wanted to fight.

But how does one fight against the cruelty of nature.

Her knuckles were white as they gripped the side of the tub. She slid down to the floor.

Tears streaming down her face.

_Someone please help._

She didn't even have to look down. She felt the blood pouring down her legs, pooling by her feet.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally could inhale. And then the crying started.

She wanted so badly to hold the baby that she could feel was trying to fight for it's life. She felt it's pain. It was afraid.

He was afraid.

Of course now, nearing the end, she would be blessed with the knowledge that she was in fact losing her son.

A son she never even got to name.

She knew Hecate would give her son a new life.

Rebirth.

But that didn't stop the feeling of emptiness that was left after that little heart in her stopped beating.

_Please make it stop._

Her mind felt broken.

Never to be whole again.

She closed her eyes and focused on something else.

A memory.

A happy memory.

Before Nick.

Before the academy.

She was there, drinking milkshakes in the booth with her friends. Talking theories about a horror movie.

She opened her eyes.

She felt death.

There was no spark of life anywhere.

The sun had hidden itself behind a cloud and the world outside felt as cold and dead as she did.

She did the one thing she knew she shouldn't. Her mind was telling her to stop. But she wouldn't listen.

She put her hands on the ends of her now bloody nightgown and pulled up.

There he was.

Her son.

Laying there. Unmoving. Between her legs.

She closed her eyes. She couldn't look anymore.

She wanted to die.

_Please someone kill me._

A piece of her had died.  
  


She managed to stand up, her weak legs trembling and her feet slipping on the blood.

There was so much of it.

She stumbled slowly to the phone in the corner.

Nick had put it there, for emergencies.

Sabrina had laughed at the time. She had told him that it was unlikely she would ever use it.

She wasn't laughing now.

With each step, the pain inside her, the ache between her legs radiated through her.

She grit her teeth.

After a lifetime, she finally reached the phone.

Her mind so broken that she only saw her bloody fingers leave bleeding fingerprints on some of the numbers.

Who was she calling, she wondered.

Standing became too painful.

She collapsed down on the floor, tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. Still clutching the phone tightly in her hand.

"Hello?" Sabrina gasped. A familiar voice was on the other end.

"Roz." She breathed.

"Sabrina? Hey girl," Roz didn't know. She couldn't know.

She sobbed then.

"Sabrina? Hey what's wrong?" That worried tone. How quickly she had changed.

"The baby." Sabrina stuttered out. A broken sob followed after.

"Where are you?" There was no questions. Roz must already know what had happened.

"Home. Bathroom." She had been brave enough.

Sabrina finally let herself cry, the phone sliding out of her hands. It made a sound as it hit the floor.

There could of been questions and worry. Roz could of been screaming for Sabrina to answer her.

Or it could of been Sabrina's broken mind playing tricks on her.

Having her imagine hearing Roz. Her voice so far away.

She laid down.

Staring at the ceiling.

It was so peaceful here.

No sounds.

She must of drifted off into a dreamless sleep because the next thing she knew was the sound of life.

Downstairs.

Her aunties. Ambrose. Prudence.

Sabrina couldn't hear what they were saying but she recognized those voices.  
She could recognized them anywhere.  
  
They sounded happy. Carefree.

They didn't know. How could they know.

She almost let herself drift back into a dreamless sleep.

"Sabrina?"  
  
Roz. She sounded scared. She called out again. Did she think Sabrina could call out.

Her mind wouldn't let her.

The happy voices halted and there were worried mumblings. Followed by rushed footsteps up the stairs.

Sabrina closed her eyes.

"Sabrina?" Roz was closer now. Then the bathroom door was opened.

A gasp.

"Sabrina." The sound of knees falling on the bathroom floor next to her. Shaky warm fingers were held on her throat.

She opened her eyes.

"I lost him."

Roz looked at her with worried eyes. She must know now.

"I couldn't save my son." There were no tears left to cry. No more lies to say.

The truth was all that remained.

No matter how ugly and cruel it might be.

Roz was crying. She pulled Sabrina to her. Her head now resting comfortably in her lap.

Sabrina closed her eyes again and listened. Footsteps. There was another gasp.

"Is she?" Zelda. Her voice was shaking.

There was no answer.

"Ambrose." He must be there too. Zelda was giving an order. But it must of been a voiceless one because she said nothing more after that.

"Yes. Auntie Z." His voice sounded strange. As if he was choking back tears.

He walked away.

The last thing Sabrina heard was Roz whispering a sleep spell to her.

In a perfect world, Sabrina would of smiled, and feel proud of her best friend using magic.

But the world was far from perfect.

And a dreamless sleep took her.

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't really know where to go from here, I might just delete it. But if you like the story and want me to continue it, let me know.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
